Total Drama Suburbs
by Christlover357
Summary: Season five of Total Drama! Chris brings back twenty-four contestants to compete in city-themed challenges in a contest for one million dollars! There will be laughter and drama and romance and betrayal and deadly, extreme adventures all right here!
1. Welcome to the City Part 1

Chef cursed under his breath as he was led by the security guard through the Maximum Security Prison.

"I was gonna be able to star in the new bronie movie." Chef muttered, "But no. I have to go pick up Chris at the darn jail right on the day of auditions!"

Chef huffed and puffed some more as he looked at the cells around him. He saw crooks and murders and, oddly enough, Mr. Coconut.

"The heck?" the cook asked himself as he saw the fruit behind bars. But his train of thought was interrupted when he heard a familiar voice screaming.

"HOLY CRAP! This is why this show is called Total Drama!"

"Can it McLean!"

"Yeah, shut your big mouth!"

"Hey, you guys. I'M TRYING TO HOST A SHOW HERE!"

"Oh no." Chef groaned as he walked up to his boss's cell. Chris had been there for a year and a half. He looked like he was utterly insane.

"Oh my gosh! Izzy just started to eat Lightning! The heat is on!" Chris said in awe as he watched a mouse eat a crumb of some bread product. It was then the host looked up and saw Chef on the other side of his cold, hard cell. He was not pleased to see him.

"Well, well. Look who decide to actually come and visit me after a year and a half!"

"Shut up you whiny baby! No reason to complain, you've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste."

"I don't care." Chris pouted, "I think I'll stay right here. I have everything I need. Great friends."

Chris gestured towards the seven ugly serial killers that were on the beds behind him.

"Wonderful food."

The narcissist pointed to the rotting plate of who-knows-what in the corner.

"And Chef 2.0! I made him from a cashew." Chris announced as he showed the cook his replacement. Frustrated, Chef sighed and slid a packet in between the bars.

"What's this?" McLean asked as he opened it up.

"It's your new contract for Total Drama." Chef Hatchet explained, "The producers have green-lit a fifth season. Are you in?"

Chris cheered as his eyes went wide with joy.

"It is on!"

**_(Theme Song Plays)_**

Chris appeared ecstatic as he stood with Chef at the local trolley station.

"Welcome to Suburbia." Chris cheerfully began, "The central location of our fifth season, Total... Drama... SUBURBS! It's been a while folks, I know it has. But after my involuntary year and a half long vacation, I am pleased to finally be with the people I love... to hurt, once more! Aren't you excited Chef?"

"Chris man, my soap op- er, I mean, MANLY RAMBO MARATHON, is starting in five minutes. Can I just go?"

Chris sighed, "Fine."

As Chef Hatchet happily ran off, a trolley pulled into view. Upon seeing this, Chris McLean looked absolutely thrilled.

"Well viewers, inside this trolley are twenty-four past contestants, all competing for another shot at one... million... dollars!" the host announced as the vehicles doors flew open, "Come on out contestants, myself and the audience want to watch as I put you through horrible, unspeakable pain and suffering."

Noah walked out first, looking as bored as the bookworm usually is.

"I hate my life." the Indian teen muttered.

"Oh but Noah, your life is a precious gift." Dawn said as she walked out behind him, "Cherish it."

Noah yawned, "Okay, sure."

"Welcome back Noah and Dawn." Chris greeted.

"Greetings Chris" Dawn responded, "Your aura is less dark than usual. Who would have thought that you may actually have a soul after all!"

"Chris McLean having a soul?" Leshawna asked as she stepped off the trolley, "Must be a sign of the end times."

"Welcome Leshawna!" the host said, "Have any plans for this season?"

"What plans do you think I have? This sister is going all the way!" the ghetto girl cheered.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." a familiar voice piped up from behind.

"Oh no." Leshawna groaned.

"Hooray." Noah cheered sarcastically, "Heather's back."

"That's right, I have returned." Heather boasted as she strolled into the station, "And I intend to win the million dollars."

"Not if we vote you out first, you caniving little witch!" Leshawna informed as she got into her arch rivals face.

"Oh shut it you fat tub of-" Heather could never finish her comment as Leshawna gave her a huge smack in the face. The queen bee smacked her back. And before long the two were in a signature cat-fight.

"Ladies, I know some great people who can meditate with you." Dawn futility offered, "It could help you understand one another."

The moon child could not be heard, and the two girls just kept on fighting. Cody wandered out of the trolley next, and was delighted to see what he saw as he came out.

"Ooo! A cat-fight!" the geek chuckled as he watched intently. With guitar in hand, Trent walked out of the trolley next.

"Whoa." the musician gasped, "We've only been here for about five minutes, and people are already killing each other?"

"Yeah, this is getting annoying." Chris complained, "They need to stop there fighting so we can get on with it. It's a half-hour show."

"Do we have to?" Cody whimpered. He happened to be enjoying the battle.

"I know what to do." Dawn said as she walked over to Heather and Leshawna. She quickly found their pressure points an knocked them out, "There we go. They should awaken in about twenty minutes."

"Wow. That's pretty cool!" Trent complimented.

"Thank you Trent Smith, your aura is orangery-green today. It truly suits you." the moonchild said. Trent looked confused. But before he could question the girl's powers, the next contestant came out of the trolley.

"So, these are the wimps I gonna beat this year, huh?" Jo said as she stomped off.

"Little Miss Friendly, are we?" Noah uttered.

"Would you like my number?" Cody asked as he swaggered up to the tomboy, "Cause if you were a booger, I'd pick you first!"

Jo stared at the failure of a flirt for a solid minute before punching him in the face.

"Shut it, string bean." Jo commanded as she glared and crossed her arms, "You all need to stay out of my way if you value your vital organs.", she then approached Chris and grabbed his collar, "I'm ready for whatever you have to throw at me. Old man."

"I'm not old!" the host complained.

"Well, I guess fifty-six doesn't have to be considered THAT old." Sierra admitted as she walked out of the bus, glued to her phone.

"Your fifty-six?" Cody asked before he and everyone else began to laugh.

"Sierra! You of all people should remember what I said back in New York! No more embarrassing facts about me!" Chris yelled. The fan girl just shrugged.

"Okay." the teen complied, "That's too bad, I really wanted to tell the tale about the time you were stuck in your toilet seat for three days."

Before Chris could attack Sierra, three more contestants got off the trolley.

"My great great great great great uncle George invented the toilet bowl." Staci lied, "Before then-" but the compulsive liar could not finish her sentence, since Anne Maria sprayed her face with her can of her hair spray.

"NO MORE LIES!" the desperate jersey shore reject screamed as she psychotically sprayed Staci all over. DJ tried to hold her back.

"Calm down! It's wrong to spray people like that!" the teddy bear scolded. Anne Maria whipped her head around and seemingly snapped.

"That girl has been chatterin' in my ear for the past five hours about her great grandma this and how they invented whatchyamacallet and I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" the tanned girl shrieked.

"(cough) My great great great-"

"AUUUUGH!" with that Anne Maria fell on the floor in fetal position as everyone stared at her.

"This game is getting way to tense, way to early." DJ whined.

"That girl definitely needs some meditation." Dawn cringed. Suddenly, a massive crash was heard. The people outside turned and saw Tyler face-first on the ground, wincing in pain as Lindsay watched overhead in terror.

"Timothy! I mean Tyson! I mean Terryl! I mean Tyler!" the dumb blonde worried as she rushed to her boyfriend.

"Ouch. That had to hurt." Trent commented.

"What on earth were you doing, bro?" DJ asked as he helped the sporto up.

"I was trying to do a super awesome back flip into the season. But I screwed it up." Tyler admitted.

"Idiots." Jo said as she rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" Lindsay yelled, offended, "We are not idiots! We know all three hundred and seven of our ABC's!"

"Yes." Noah fake agreed, "Your admission into Mensa is practically guaranteed... crap."

"What's wrong with you?" Staci asked him.

"I have an undeniable urge in my gut that the slippery eel, Alejandro, is back." Noah sighed, "Or maybe its just indigestion."

"No my egg-headed amigo." Alejandro said as he walked off the trolley, "I have returned."

"That's just great." Noah moaned as he looked into the sky, "Life why must you always hate me so?"

"Oh Noah." Alejandro chuckled, "You... HEATHER!" the Spaniard gasped as he laid his eyes on her knocked out body, "What happened!?"

"Her and Leshawna were in a fight. I touched a pressure point and knocked them out. The two should wake up any second now." Dawn explained.

Before anything else could happen, everyone's ears were met with a loud screeching.

"My ears!" Sierra cried, "O how they bleed!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOhmygoshI'msoexcitedtobebackonTotalDrama!EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sadie squealed. Eva marched out next and came right up to the valley girl, looked at her, picked her up, and then threw her into the horizon. Everyone stared at her and at once gave the muscular woman their thanks.

"Oh, I'm gonna try being nice this season by the way." Eva grunted.

"Well that's awesome!" DJ said as he patted Eva's back.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Eva yelled as she picked him up and also threw him into the horizon.

"MAMA!" the Jamaican wailed as he flew through the air.

"Great start." Noah congratulated with a smirk.

"I'm still kinda working on it." Eva sighed.

"Well you can work on it now, cause here comes someone you hate, Ezekiel!" Chris announced as the home-schooled teen walked out of the bus. He still looked greenish and still had a very damaged mindset, "Enjoy the million dollar treatments I had to pay for? Zeke?"

"They were good, eh." Zeke muttered as he went to stand over in a corner.

"What's wrong, dude?" Trent asked in a sympathetic manner.

"Well, every time I opened my mouth, I screwed myself up. So I'm shutting up." Ezekiel whispered. Then he said nothing more, rather watching the developments with the rest of the teens.

"Ugh... where am I?" Leshawna asked as she stood up slowly.

"Your on season five of Total Drama, silly." Sierra told the sister, who nodded in response. Heather was beginning to wake up too.

"The heck?" the queen bee grunted as she awakened.

"Oh thank goodness!" Alejandro cheered as his love woke up. That is, until Eva walked over, picked Heather up, and threw her into the horizon.

"!" the arch villain was in shock, "Why on earth would you do that?!"

"I figured she'd do something to make me angry." Eva shrugged, "So I just sent her away before she'd make me get the urge to beat the living crap out of her."

"You gotta admit Al." Tyler agreed, "There's some wisdom in that."

"You are all imbeciles!" Alejandro said through gritted teeth before cussing in Spanish. It was then Cameron walked off the bus.

"I'm so excited!" Cameron cheered, "I cannot wait for more adventure!"

"I'll give you adventure!" Lightning hissed as he came behind him.

"Oh, hi Lightning!" the bubble boy greeted, "Not still mad about the whole 'stealing your immunity' thing... right?"

The absolute death glare on Lightning's face said it all.

"Whoa, no need to be such a sore loser, jockstrap." Jo called out, "Take a sha-chill pill."

"Shut up Jo!" Lightning shot back as he shoved Cameron aside, "You don't know what you are talking about! You don't know what he put me through! What he caused!"

"You lost a million dollars." Noah informed, "Get over it."

"My great great great..."

"I don't care." the bookworm said as he slapped his hand over Staci's mouth.

"Aw, sha-forget you people!" Lightning said as he gave one last glare at Cameron.

"Hold a grudge much?" Cameron said as he gave his adversary a dirty look, "Well, I won't let him bring down another exciting experience for me!"

"Since when are you so peppy?" Jo asked.

"Ever since he won, he feels a lot more confident in everything he does.' Dawn revealed.

"What she said! I love this show!"

"You love a show where people almost die and are put through dramatic experiences for the viewing audiences pleasure?" Bridgette glumly asked as she walked out of the bus with her boyfriend, Geoff, "I guess to each their own."

"Come on Bridge." Geoff pleaded, "Don't be like that. You never know, this could be your season."

"Hon, I really don't care." the surfer girl insisted, "Frankly, I've had enough drama here to last me a lifetime. I really can't believe you convinced me to come back in the game."

"Bridgette." Geoff got down on one knee and grabbed his girlfriends' hand, "I promise I will make these weeks the time of your life."

"Don't make promises you can't keep honey."

"Are you two done with your little soap opera?" Chris asked. Both blondes sighed and nodded their heads, heading over with the rest of the crowd. Scott was the next to come out.

"Hey guys!" the ginger happily greeted everyone, "How you all doing?"

The devious redneck received nothing but glares.

"Is this about my behavior last season?"

"No sha-duh." Lightning deadpanned.

"I swear I've changed." Scott insisted. But no one was buying it, and they just kept on glaring at him, "Come on Dawn! Read my aura or something! That'd let everyone know I'm different now."

"I'm sorry Scott, but your aura is shrouded in mystery." Dawn apologized, "You'll just have to prove yourself."

"Pffft, like that will ever happen." Jo said as she rolled her eyes.

"I suppose I brought this on myself." Scott sighed as he stood to the side. Then the next contestant came out.

"Brick mac Arthur, reporting for season five of Total Drama, sir!" the cadet firlmly said as he saluted Chris.

"At ease, private." the host responded back, "Enjoy fashion school?"

"Sir yes sir! I now not only get to follow my military code, but the fashion one as well!" Brick happily explained, "No more split ends for this guy!"

"Did somebody say fashion?" Anne Maria said excitedly as she jumped out of her fetal position. The jersey shore reject rushed over to Brick and immediately started to discuss fashion with him.

"Looks like G.I. Joke has a new friend." Jo laughed, "Too bad it's Miss Tan-in-a-Can."

"Hey!" Anne Maria shot back, hearing the insult, "At least I'm not some man-lady!"

"What did you just call me!?"

"Ya heard me, Jo."

"Ladies, please." Brick interjected, "Let's all get along! We need to work together as a team!"

"Fine, whateva." Anne Maria scoffed as she walked away.

"Losers." Jo grumbled as she glared in Eva's general direction.

"What the heck are you looking at?" the female bully asked her second generation counterpart. They both glared at each other for a few seconds before engaging in one of the most aggressive arm matches ever displayed. Nothing could break their concentration, not even a car that screeched into the trolley station with four people. One of them very angry with Eva.

"I am going to kill that little..." Heather grumbled.

"Heather, just forgive and forget, it's much easier and will make you feel free!" DJ insisted. The queen bee turned and glared at the brickhouse, which caused him to jump. Before Heather could give the muscular woman a piece of her mind, a certain someone ambush hugged her.

"Senorita!" Alejandro said with delight, "Your safe!"

"I don't even like you!" heather said as she shoved the villain off.

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

This went on for a while, until they both gave in and began to passionately make out.

"Hope your happy you brat!" Chef shouted, "Can't believe I have to miss my stories to drop you kids off here. What kind of idiots just go and fall into peoples houses!"

"It wasn't our fault." Said said as she squeezed Chef with a tight hug around the neck, "But thank you sooo much for taking us here. I like totally forgive you for making all that horrible food back in season 1!"

"Get off me you fat annoyance!" Chef shouted as he shoved her off and drove away.

"I'm not fat!" Sadie shouted back, "What a jerk!"

Out of nowhere hysterical laughter was heard.

"What the heck is that?" Tyler fearfully asked.

"The laughing got louder and louder and louder until Izzy jumped out of the trolley in a fit of giggles.

"Hi everyone! Who wants a bagel!?" the nutjob asked as she pulled one out of her bra.

"I sense bad vibes with that food." Dawn said as she backed away.

"My great great great Aunt Trish invented bagels. Before then people never tasted one. How sad." Staci lied.

"... Twenty-two, twenty-three, and twenty-four! Alright, all the contestants are here and accounted for! So I need silence!" Chris said as he took a horn out of his pocket and blared it.

"What's wrong chip?" Lindsay asked.

"Are we already gonna start the challenge?!" Cameron asked excitedly.

"No my friends, I-"

"Whoa." Heather interrupted, "I am not your friend."

"Yeah." Noah agreed, "I don't align myself with creepers."

"I'm not a creeper!" Chris whined.

"Um, you totally are." Izzy said, "This one time I saw you at an intervention for creepers! You were all like, 'Hi I'm Chris McLean and I have a problem with being a creeper' and then the audience was all like, 'Hi Chris McLean' and then we drank punch. It was so much fun."

"I can back that all up as fact." Sierra confirmed as the laughter grew and grew. All the while Chris McLean's face became red with anger.

"Shut it! Or I will eliminate every last one of you!" the host shouted. With that, things quieted down, "Gosh... alright, let me explain the rules and regulations. See, every two days we will be having a city-themed challenge, but with a Total Drama twist of course! Expect the pain and suffering of the past four seasons to return."

"Will the challenges be EXTREME!?" Tyler asked.

"Yes they will be."

"HECK YEAH!"

"Will, there be sh-sh-sh sharks?" Scott worriedly asked.

"Of course." the host responded, "Now, when your not competing in challenges you will be living in Medium-sized mansions complete with air conditioning and a masseuse.", Chris was interrupted with all the cheering, "I know you guys are excited, but I just wanted to say that if it were up to me, you'd be back in the stanky old cabins from Wawanakwa, but city laws here prevent me from doing so."

"Well thank goodness for da city!" Anne Maria cheered.

"Amen to that." Cody agreed, "Would you like my number you tanned goddess?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said-" Trent pulled Cody aside before the geek could finish his flirt.

"Dude, it would be in your best interest to not flirt so much, K?" Trent explained.

The tech geek sadly sighed, "Okay."

Next on the agenda are the elimination ceremonies!" Chris announced, "For one, with the exception of this particular one, someone will be eliminated in every single episode.

"But, why?!" Sadie asked.

"Money problems." the egotistical human being responded, "Next on the agenda is our elimination ceremonies! This year they will take place right here! At the trolley station! And the loser will be sent away on the trolley of tragedy, and can never come back, ever."

"Sir, you always say that." Brick said, "Are you telling the truth this time?"

Chris didn't respond, and went onto the next point, "If you survive all the elimination ceremonies, you will make it to the finale, and if you win the finale, you aquire one... million... dollars!"

"Say, I've been meaning to ask you, where do you get all this money from?" Trent asked.

"Actually, I'm kinda curious about that too." Bridgette chimed in, "You always say that this darn show has money problems, but yest you always have a case with a million dollars. Care to explain?"

Everyone else started to talk and also wanted to know where did their tormentor get all this free money. Even Sierra wanted know. Chris just went wide eyed and whistled.

"No comment, I plead the fifth. Let's just... just move on. Alright, I know some of you want to talk smack about certain people behind their backs." Chris admitted.

"Darn right I do." Leshawna growled as she stared down Heather.

"Sha-agreed." Lightning whispered as he eyed a certain bubble boy.

"Well, this season, our confessional will be inside of an ice cream truck. So now you not only have the ability to make yourself feel guilty about gossiping, but stuffing your face as well." Chris announced as he motioned to the ice cream truck coming in their direction, "Feel free to confess."

**SIERRA:** I'm so excited! EEEEEEE! /happily hyperventilates./

**EZEKIEL:** /rubs his arm/ This season... I'm just gonna lay low. Try not to get eliminated (gulps) first. Yeah, that'd be nice. /sighs./

**HEATHER:** /Is eating all the ice cream. She's forgotten that she's being filmed/ Oh ice cream and sugar and calories and carbs... how I love you.

**CAMERON:** After winning last season, I'm so pumped for life and adventure! I can't believe that I, Cameron Corduroy Wilkins, am a thrill-seeker. Hopefully Lightning won't put a damper on my fun. Though, i'm sure he's not too mad.

**LIGHTNING:** Cameron. Will. Die.

**TYLER:** EXTREME!

**NOAH:** This seasons already off to such a fun start. Whooptie-freaking-doo.

**EVA:** I know it seems crazy, but I am serious about the being nice thing. /sees fly buzzing around and making noise. It's really annoying. She trys to hold it in, but snaps./ DIE FLY! DIE!

**SADIE:** This season, I'm all about strategy. I'm gonna make sooooo many alliances. You, like, have no idea.

**GEOFF:** I plan on making this season one heck of a party! Woohoo!

**IZZY:** /laughing maniacally/ T is for Turtles. /Goes back to laughing manically./

"Alright. I know you guys have been wanting to know who you'll bee staying with for the next several weeks. I'll announce the teams!" Chris said.

"I hope I'm on a team with a bunch of girls." Ezekiel said, "Their so tough and strong..."

"Don't suck up." Eva grunted.

**EZEKIEL:** /Writing a note on his hands./ Don't... suck... up... Got it!

"Alright, here we go." Chris commenced, "The first team will consist of the following:

Bridgette...

Lightning...

Eva...

Geoff...

Staci...

Brick...

Jo...

Scott...

Leshawna...

Cody...

Anne Maria...

And Trent, you twelve will now be know as the Killer Toasters!"

"Sha-team!" Lightning cheered.

"I am happy to be working with you all!" Brick said as he saluted his new comrades, "No man shall ever be left behind!"

"That's the spirit, bro!" Geoff smiled as he high-fived the cadet.

"My great aunt Abigail tried to invent teams." Staci once again fibbed, "But she was too distracted by, well, anything to come through with it."

Several eyes rolled and a few others glared at the lying Staci.

**STACI:** I think my team really likes me!

"Alright." Chris said, "The other twelve of you:

Noah...

Izzy...

Tyler...

Sierra...

Cameron...

Lindsay...

DJ...

Sadie...

Alejandro...

Heather...

And Ezekiel, shall forever be known as the Screaming Pillows!"

"Did you like, get these names out of some random word generator?" Noah asked.

"No! I came up with them on my own, thank you very much." Chris grumbled as he crossed his fingers ever so discreetly.

"Can we just get on with it?" Bridgette asked in annoyance, "I really just want this season to fly by."

"Come on Bridge."Geoff whined, "Have a good attitude about this."

"Actually, I agree with Bridgette." Sierra chimed in, "Let's get this challenge started! I'm so pumped!"

"Can it involve reading?" Noah futility asked.

"Actually, guys, the first challenge doesn't even take place here. it takes place at another place more familiar."

"Does this place involve...sh-sh-" Scott stuttered in fear, "Sharks?"

"Yes." Chris McLean happily shook his head, "Yes it does."

And at that moment, the floor the twenty-four teens were standing on began to rise slowly.

"What are you doing?" Sadie worriedly asked.

The host with the most just kept on flashing his toothy grin as the contestants kept rising.

"I don't like being so high up..." DJ winced.

Chris just kept smiling.

"HELLO? CHRIS? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!?" Eva shouted. The rising of the floor stopped to a halt.

"Is that it?" Cody asked.

"See ya." Chris said as he pressed a button and sent all the teenagers flying through the air.

**CHRIS:** I love my job.

* * *

_A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! I own nothing! _


	2. Welcome to the City Part 2

The contestants all groaned as they lied on a sidewalk. After all, slamming into the ground after being thrown from a long distance seriously hurts.

"Oui, why Chris. Just why do this?" Trent groaned.

"Because..." Noah explained, "Chris is a sadistic creep who needs medication and a longer stay in prison."

For one Noah, I agree with you." Alejandro nodded.

"Ugh, my great great great Grandma Jasmine was an adventurer." Staci lied, "And even they would have found that too extreme."

"Nobody cares." Heather grunted as she got up and cracked her back. The queen bee stopped and looked around, then asking a vital question, "Where are we?"

"Well" Lindsay responded, 'I think were on Earth."

"No duh you nitwit." Jo sneered, 'She's wondering where on Earth we are."

"I sense overactive hormones." Dawn revealed.

"And I smell some nasty sweat socks." DJ grimaced as he tried to futility swat the smell away.

"And I think I may have heard some ruffian use some coarse language toward Shakespeare." Brick nodded. It was then all the evidence added up and the kids had a sudden realization.

"Guys." Izzy announced, "Were at a potato factory!"

"Actually, I think this is some high school Izzy." Tyler corrected.

**IZZY:** I wanted it to be a potato factory...

"What's a high school, eh?" Zeke asked.

"I LOVE high school." Sierra said, "Its the experience of a lifetime!"

"Speak for yourself." Noah snorted.

"I personally dislike high school." Dawn stated, "There are far too many rude, vulgar, and manipulative auras that stink up the air and tempt me to inflict nasty omens upon."

**HEATHER:** Some losers just can't handle the likes of me. /files nails/

**SCOTT:** I've gotten kicked out of like, ten schools in my time. Today will be the first time I walk into a school grounds not acting like a brat. Wonder how that will go.

"I think high school is rather lovely." said Alejandro, "It is here you find friends that last a lifetime and you discover yourself and-"

"Shut up AL." Bridgette interrupted.

'Yeah AL, no one wants to hear your voice and it talking about how "great" school is." Jo interjected.

"Why is everyone calling you AL?" Brick asked, "Sir, do you like being called AL?"

"My aunt Hannah invented the word, AL, before then people call those that were named Alejandro by their actual name." Staci said.

"Guys, were bothering AL." Tyler said genuinely, "I think we should stop calling him A-"

"DON'T YOU SAY IT!" Alejandro raged, "I HATE THAT NAME!"

"HEY! ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO RAGE LIKE THAT." Eva yelled as she picked the Spaniard up and launched him into the horizon.

**EVA:** Shoot. That wasn't nice, was it? It's hard trying to be not angry all the time. /sighs/ Hope Alejandro isn't to angry.

**ALEJANDRO:** ***************************************** GREEN************************* CHAIR********************BUTCHER, BAKER, AND CANDLESTICK MAKER***********************EN PANTALONE****************************** AND A BARREL OF****************************!

**BRIDGETTE:** I hate being so mean, but honestly, AL doesn't deserve my kindness. He's part of the reason why this show sucks so much anyway.

**GEOFF:** Bridge really seemed to snap at Alejandro back there. I'm gonna make it my personal mission to make her happy again.

"Whoa guys." Chris said as he flew in on his jet pack. Calm down. Don't kill each other just yet. We have a challenge starting right now."

"EEEEE!" Sadie squealed, "This is like, my first challenge in years. I'm so excited."

"Sadie, hon, there's nothing to be excited about." Leshawna said as she put her hand on the valley girls shoulder.

"Yeah, these challenges are just pain and suffering on our parts." DJ said as a single tear fell from his eye.

"And great amusement on my part." Chris laughed sadistically, "So lets get this show started! Follow me inside and I'll explain everything as we walk to out first location."

"What about Alejandro?" Heather asked, "Eva hurled him into the horizon!"

"Get over it." Eva grunted.

"He'll show up when he shows up. I've got all day." Chris smiled.

"And what's it to you." Anne Maria asked as she sprayed her hair, "Do ya like da guy or somethin'?"

It was then Heather lunged at the Jersey Shore Reject, but the tanned girl was one jump ahead and sprayed before the queen bee could do any damage.

"Oh no you don't!" Anne Maria sneered as she sprayed for a few more seconds before stopping. Needless to say, Heather was not pleased.

"Your... {cough} gonna pay you little-"

"Hey, no cursing. This show is TV-PG. Kids are watching this." Chris reminded.

"Kids are watching this show?" Leshawna asked rhetorically, "Must be some screwed up kids."

"Can't argue with that." Trent nodded.

"Guys, we need to get on with it. its a half hour show. We don't got all day." the sadistic host said as he opened the school's doors.

"But I though you said we had all day?" DJ asked.

"Heehee... ha... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Chris creepily asked earning disturbed glances from everyone, except Izzy, who joined in.

**NOAH:** Well... that happened.

**SIERRA:** I guess the topic of today's Chris blog is his apparent dive off the deep end. /cringes/

**DAWN:** /rocking back and forth in a fetal position/ If I EVER read an aura like the one I just read from Chris, I will not hesitate to bury myself and meditate for the rest of my natural life.

**IZZY:** /laughing just like Chris was/ ... pickles! Grips! Gophers! /goes back to laughing/

"...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I know. But I can lie all I want because I'm the host!" Chris boasted.

"So your like one of those stinking politicians." Scott spat.

"Exactly." the host agreed as he walked inside, "Their my favorite role models after the IRS."

"Well that's just dandy." Scott sighed. Then the redneck, the host, and the other twenty-three contestants followed Chris inside to the cafeteria.

"Are we gonna have lunch?" Sadie asked.

"I need sha-protein!" Lightning exclaimed.

"Your not eating lunch, but you will be having pies for your school-themed challenge!"

"I see what you did their bro." Geoff chuckled as he realized why Chris had the pie challenge in a school setting, "That's very punny."

"I know right?" Chris laughed, 'I'm a comedy genius. Ha ha. Ha. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"No! Please don't do that again!" Dawn pleaded.

"Seriously dude." Trent cringed, "Your laughs are really creepy."

"You scare off half your Twitter followers, #nojoke." Sierra revealed.

"Fine, don't join in my laughter and happiness." Chris pouted, "But I guess its fine since we need to get on with the challenge! There will be three parts, but I'm explaining the first two for now. As you can see, on the cafeteria are enormous pies that you'll have to eat in three point one four seconds, as I've already explained. Keep in mind these are HUGE pies. So when your speed-eating don't choke. But if you do its fine. I'll get killer ratings!"

**CODY:** Didn't Chris have a soul once?

Chris went on, "But wait, there's more! If your able to finish your pie you will notice some writing at the bottom of the tin. This writing is actually a question that has to do with Math, English, and the like. This is the second part of the challenge. if you are able to answer it, you move on to part three. Got it? If not, too freaking bad."

"Your empathy for the slow minded is overwhelming Chris." Noah lazily said.

"All right, found my bullhorn. It was lost in my pants, sorry." Chris apologized.

"Did you just say you lost your bullhorn in your pants?!" Leshawna asked, horrified. The host did not respond and blew his horn, signifying that the challenge was starting.

"Alright sha-team!" Lightning addressed, "I don't want to be on a sha-team of losers like last time, so you all better eat your pies quickly or I'll sha-eliminate you!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Eva roared as she stuffed the pie down her throat at once, "THERE, FINISHED! HAPPY?!"

'Sha-yeah." the jock nodded carelessly as he ate his pie.

"Hey soldier." brick whispered into Lightning's ear with food in his mouth, "I think some humility on your part would benefit you."

"Are you my sha-father?" Lightning yelled as he burped, "Sha-shut up!"

**BRICK:** I guess I didn't deserve my advice giving badge at boot camp.

"This team is a complete mess Geoff." Bridgette mumbled through the bites, "You were totally right when you said this was gonna be a fun month and a half."

"Come on Bridge. This is, er fun..." Geoff said halfheartedly as he watched Anne maria spray Cody in the eyes with her hair spray. The poor tech geek had tried to flirt with her.

"No need to lie Geoff." Bridgette said as she shoved her half eaten pie to the middle of the table, "I think I'm done. Scratch that, I know I'm done. I quit!"

"Sorry Bridgette." Chris fake-apologized as he put her arm around her shoulder, "No one can quit until episode six."

"You pulled that rule out of your butt, didn't you." the surfer accused. The host happily nodded and walked away, "Whatever. The day episode six hits, i am so outta here."

**GEOFF:** I can't have my Bridgey-Bear leave so early! That's so not cool! I gotta get her happy again. And that is my personal mission this season!

The Screaming Pillows weren't doing much better than their opposing team.

"I am not eating that!" Heather huffed, "It has way to many carbs! And I have to keep my figure as beautiful as it is."

"Oh my gosh. You better, like, eat your stinking pie." Sadie yelled, "I finished it!"

"Um, just because your all fat and able to eat tons of food in five seconds since you have more experience doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do!" the queen bee retorted.

"How dare you!" the bfffl screamed in anger, "I'm going to make you eat this pie whether you like it or not!"

And with that Sadie went insane and released her rage by stuffing the pie down the raven-haired girls throat. She tried to fight back, but the valley girl was powerful and determined.

**SADIE:** Oh that witch is going down!

**HEATHER:** Screechy Ms. Fat is going on that trolley in our first elimination!

Cameron was also going insane, he had started eating his pie slowly but instantly fell in love with the taste and began to twitch and develop the dreaded sugar rush. Saying the bubble boy was not pleased when he discovered her had no more pie would have been the understatement of all time. So he decided to take siome of Tyler's.

"Whoa bro!" the sporto scolded, "You can't take my pie!"

Cameron hissed and began to foam at the mouth while doing so. This scared Tyler into giving Cam the pie, as well as Lindsay to jump into what she thought was her boyfriends arms.

"Save me Tyler!" Lindsay pleaded as she jumped into DJ's arms.

"Er... I'm not Tyler." the teddy bear corrected.

"Oh yeah, oops." Lindsay face-palmed as she jumped into Sierra's arms, "Save me Tyler!"

"I'm a woman." Sierra said. Lindsay face-palmed again before finally jumping into the correct person's arms, and the couple began to make out.

"Is this is how all seasons of Total Drama are, eh?" Ezekiel asked Noah as he looked at the chaos that was his team.

"Yeah." Noah deadpanned, "You haven't missed much despite competing in what, three episodes?"

"Four."

"Riiiiiight." Noah responded as he rubbed his arm, "Sorry bout that whole situation. I can only imagine it must have sucked."

"Thanks, eh." Ezekiel thanked, smiling, "I know it was just a simple apology for something that wasn't even your fault, but it still means a lot to me."

"Yeah, don't get any ideas. I don't want to be your friends or something, so-"

Noah and Zeke's conversation was interrupted by an ear-splitting scream, which came from Anne Maria. The Jersey Shore Reject was swelling up like a giant balloon.

"What on earth?!" Dawn gasped as she just finished her pie. DJ looked and freaked out, passed out, and didn't finish his pie.

"Ha ha ha, let's point and laugh." Jo sadistically cackled."

"Not cool." Trent muttered.

"JO!" Brick scolded, "Now is no the time for that! Chris help Anne Maria!"

"I see nothing wrong with her." the host responded. he didn't see anything because his eyes were closed and he was trying to nap.

"AW NAW!" Anne maria roared as she rolled over to Chris and began to punch him, "Didn't you know that I'm severely allergic to pumpkin!? ARE YOU SO STUPID YOU'D GIVE ME PUMPKIN PIE!?"

"I thought you had paperwork that told you our allergies?!" Cody exclaimed.

"Well..." the host explained, "I ran out of toilet paper this morning and.."

"I DON'T CARE!" Anne Maria raged as she started to cry, since the tanned girl was getting very, very embarrassed, "Just help me, please!"

"Fine." Chris whined and began to dial the phone and call 9-1-1, "I'm getting a busy signal. Anyone got an epi-pen?"

"9-1-1 gave you a busy signal?" Scott asked incredulously.

"My great great great grandpa invented busy signals." Staci lied, "His whole town took him behind his house and shot him."

"Oops, called my computer emergency hotline on accident." Chris admitted. After he had said this, the allotted time of three minutes and fourteen seconds had ran out and Chris stopped everything to finish the challenge.

"Alright, who finished their pies?" Chris asked, ignoring theories of Anne Maria who was telling him to just call a doctor. but the host went on with his work and found that Scott, Jo, Eva, Geoff, Leshawna, Staci, Lightning, and Trent of the killer Toasters had finished their pies. While Noah, Ezekiel, Cameron, Sadie, Heather, Izzy and Sierra of the Screaming pillows had finished their pies. Once finished he called 9-1-1 and shortly after Anne Maria was taken away by an ambulance.

"Chris, if I was your employer I would dishonorably discharge you." Brick glared, "Who do you think you are?!"

"Yeah, you've done a lot of horrible things. But denying Anne Maria her medical care is one of the worst." Sierra growled.

"Why haven't you been arrested?" Bridgette asked.

"There's a good question." Noah nodded.

"My family tried to get him in jail, eh." Zeke revealed, "But his lawyers are pit bulls."

"Those lawyers must be pretty viscous people, huh?" Noah said.

"No eh, their literal pit bulls. The ones that bark."

"Wow. That's insane!" Izzy smiled.

"Yeah, I'm a horrible person and I'm proud." Chris said, "Deal with it. Now, to those who completed the challenge, their are questions at the bottom of your tins that you must answer in six seconds. We'll start with the Screaming Pillows. Noah, what's your question?"

"Who wrote The Old man and the Sea, pffft, Ernest Hemingway of course. What kind of idiot doesn't know who he is?" Noah asked.

"Don't know, don't care. Sierra, what's your question?"

"Name all the colors of the rainbow. Well, the colors of the rainbow are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple."

"Good job. Alright Izzy, your next."

Izzy took one look at her question and began to laugh manically and preceded to somersault out a window.

**NOAH:** Some things don't change, like Izzy being one sexy, er, I mean crazy bird. That's what i meant to say, attractive. WAIT! I mean crazy, yeah. Crazy.

"Okay..." Chris said, a bit disturbed, "Cameron, its your turn."

"GIVE ME MORE PIE!" the bubble boy screamed and began to attack and claw at Chris.

"What the- Get off me!" Chris commanded as he flung the innocent off of his face, 'Your so out! Heather, you go now."

"Okay, so my question is who was the sixth [resident of the USA. Why should I care, I live in Canada." Heather rolled her eyes.

"Oh my gosh, like, at least try." Sadie scoffed.

"I would, but I don't have a clue Sadie!" Heather shot back, "Gosh."

**HEATHER:** Great, now I sound like Harold.

"Well, if you don't know, you get it wrong. But maybe Sadie won't, what's your question Sadie?"

"Um, okay. my question is why is the sky blue. That's like, college-level. how am I supposed to know that?" Sadie asked.

"Hypocrite." Heather coughed under her breath.

"Its actually really simple, eh." Ezekiel explained, "The sky is blue because of the refraction of light through nitrogen, eh."

With that everyone's jaw dropped.

"Whoa." Noah was in shock, "How did you-"

"You learn a lot when your home schooled, eh. I know about five languages."

"Well then." Chris grinned, "Sadie gets the question wrong, but since Zeke over here knows what's up I'll give him a free pass!"

CHRIS: I still hate him though.

"And with that, Noah, Sierra, and Ezekiel move on to round three! Now let's question the Killer Toasters. First up is Staci!"

"Oh goodie!" the compulsive liar cheered, "I'm ready for whatever you have to throw at me."

"Well I'm glad." Chris said as he looked at her tin, "Spell Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

"... I, uh, S-U-P-E-R-C-A-L-I-F-R-A-G-"

"Times up! You lose!"

"Chris, there's no possible way she could have spelled that in six seconds." Trent pointed out. Chris shrugged and moved onto the next competitor.

**STACI:** I blame my great uncle Annie, she hate spelling and always talked slow. must have gotten her genes.

"Alright Scott, what's your question?"

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood... what? This isn't even a school question." Scott grimaced.

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter in the slightest, your out."

**SCOTT:** This is for you Chris. /flips off camera./

"Your turn Eva!"

"HOW MANY APPLES DO YOU HAVE IF YOU HAVE FIVE, BUT MULTIPLY THEM BY SIX?" Eva yelled because she felt like it, "THIRTY!"

"Correct, and thanks for the destruction of my ear drums."

"Your welcome." the iron woman grinned.

"Geoff, your next dude!"

"What is the capital of Iowa?" Geoff scratched his head, "Ooo! I went there! Its Des Moines!"

"Correct!" Chris exclaimed, "See Heather, not everyone just casts America aside in terms of knowledge."

"Oh get bent Chris!" Heather retorted.

"What does that mean?" Cameron asked DJ, finally calming down.

"I don't know." the teddy bear responded, "Mama never told me."

"Okay Trent, you have the floor."

"Who invented the guitar?" Trent smiled calmly, knowing the answer, "Adolph Rickenbacker."

"Good job! Jo, you go!"

"Hey, that rhymed!" Izzy said as she walked back inside.

"Alright Chris. I'll answer your dumb question." Jo smirked. But her smirk turned into a frown as she read the question, "Are you mental? How am I supposed to name fifty prepositions in six seconds?"

"I don't know and I don't care! You've lost. But will Lightning?"

"Ha-please! I'm the greatest. I will sha-answer my question like the sexy beast I am!"

**EVA:** Would it count as mean to hurl him into the horizon?

"Sha-alright, what is two plus two?" Lightning's eyes went wide. He didn't know the answer, "... um, seven?"

"Ha ha. no." Chris responded.

"You cannot be that dumb." Jo shook here head. but that's when Lightning freaked out and began to cry like a baby.

"Sha-boo hoo! Sha- boo hoo! I wanted to win this time! Its not fair! I'm sorry Pops! I'm so sorry!" Lightning began to rock back and forth, whimpering.

**LIGHTNING:** This is all Cameron's fault! I will destroy him!

"All right, Sierra, Noah, Ezekiel, Eva, Trent and Geoff, we shall ignore Lightning crybabiness and continue with the final challenge." Chris said.

"Woo!" Geoff cheered, "What's the challenge?"

"Your challenge is to survive wedgies over epically evil proportions."

With a snap of the hosts fingers six well-built bullies came out of the shadows and came up to the six teens, who were now sweating.

"Do your thing." Chris smirked. With that the six bullies began pulling wedgies on them. And they hurt badly, "Just say 'uncle' when you've had enough."

"This is so indecent." Sierra said as a tear rolled down her cheek, "UNCLE!"

"UNCLE, BRO!" Geoff yelled. Five more minutes passed and Trent and Noah both said uncle at the same time. Eva and Zeke were the only ones left.

EZEKIEL: I could have had the greatest underdog moment ever, eh. I could have won for my team. But it was just so... so painful, eh. I said uncle.

"And the Killer Coconuts win!" Chris cheered after Eva threw the six bullies into the horizon, "You win the honor of what it means to win!"

The entire team cheered.

"Screaming Pillows, what can I say. You guys sucked and are sending someone home today as the sun sets."

"This is all your fault Zeke!" Heather scolded.

"Actually it isn't Heather. he made it to the Final part of the challenge, you only made it to the second half. So you suck, like, 100% more than he did!"

"Tis is true." Cameron nodded.

"Fine, I'll admit he wasn't the full reason why we lost, but... but... he threw my million dollars in a volcano!"

**CODY:** Wish it was my million dollars.

"I was feral!" Zeke shouted, "Gosh, can you not appreciate that I tried! Forget this crap, eh."

"Ooo, drama, I love it." Chris exclaimed, "Now let's get out of this school and into your new homes! There actually nice this year."

As the twenty-three contestants, all who had severely different emotions walked out of the school, Alejandro finally showed back up.

"What did I miss?" the Spaniard asked as he got onto the bus they were leaving on.

"Far to much Alejandro." Dawn sighed, "Far too much."

* * *

**BRIDGETTE:** If anything good is coming out of this season, it's wonderful places we get to stay. There actually beautiful. I'm shocked Chris wasn't lying.

"Wow." Scott gasped as he walked inside the enormous mini-mansion, "There's actual walls! And real live furnishings!"

"This place is going to be one big party bro!" Geoff fist pumped.

"There's pizza in the fridge!" Leshawna clapped, "That's what this sisters talking about!"

"You can all have you fun." Lightning sniffed as he grabbed a giant turkey leg, "I'm just gonna go upstairs and be alone with my protein."

"Aw, don't be a downer Lightning!" Staci called out. But the jock did not say a word.

"Well, the solider just feeling down. but let's not let him damper in our fun! Let us party as a team!" Brick declared. Everyone cheered in agreement and then stared as they saw Eva do gang-dam style.

"What are you staring at?" she asked, "Don't judge me!

They all just laughed and began to party in their new home.

**GEOFF:** WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

* * *

The Screaming Pillows, however, did not bask in the glory of their new, beautiful home, but screamed at each other instead.

"I can't believe we lost!" Heather shouted as she stormed into the their team's new home, "Your all a bunch of losers!"

"Oh, like you were any help." Noah scoffed, "You literally didn't even try. Your hypocritical comments are gonna probably give me indigestion. So do the entire team a favor and shut your mouth."

"How dare you talk to my girlfriend that way." Alejandro growled as he lifted up Noah by the collar. The bookworm just glared.

"Oh shut up you greasy eel, don't make me get Eva to throw you into the horizon again." the Indian smirked. Dawn interjected her two cents before a fight would break out.

"Calm down, fellow teammates." Dawn aid, "Let us all get along. We haven't even been inside for one full minute."

"A wise man once said, "A house divided cannot stand." Cameron informed.

"Was the wise man Colonel Sanders?" Lindsay asked.

"Nah." Ezekiel answered, "Abraham Lincoln, eh. If you want my home-schooled opinion, I say we should boot Heather. She's mean and bossy and far to dangerous for us to keep around."

"You make a solid point man." DJ said.

"Um, hello!? I'm standing right here!" Heather exclaimed, "And if your going to talk who we should boot, I'd say you home school! Your a freaking curse upon any team your on! I bet that's why we lost!"

"Agreed." Alejandro muttered.

"No, eh. We lost because we failed TOGETHER, as a TEAM. You failed harder than others in every imaginable way though. You failed at the challenge and you failed with your attitude, eh! You are NOT all that. So shut the ********* up!" Ezekiel finished by covering his mouth and running upstairs, ashamed at what he had said.

"Well..." Tyler commented, "That escalated quickly."

"Oh he's so gonna get it!" Heather growled.

"I sense much tension will disappear on are team will leave when the evil witch, i mean Heather, is voted off." Dawn said.

"Again, right here!"

"No one cares." Noah spat, "When's this darn ceremony happening?"

"Right now!" Chris announced as he peaked his head through the door, "Come with me to the trolley station."

"Let's do this." Sadie declared as she and her team walked out the door.

"Don't be worried chica." Alejandro whispered to Heather, "Your safe tonight."

"Why do you think I'm worried?" Heather asked. They both evilly laughed to each other as the bus took the Screaming Pillows to their first elimination ceremony.

* * *

As the sun began to set, the twelve members of the Screaming Pillows were sitting in fold-up chairs at a trolley station. A man was off to the side, playing the elimination music on a saxophone. Heather and Alejandro sat up front to the right, smiling evilly. Sadie sat next to the queen bee, glaring at her. DJ, who was sitting next to her, saw the glare and became uneasy. Noah and Dawn also sat up front as they read and meditated, respectively. Ezekiel sat in between them. Worrying the inevitable would happen. Izzy wasn't in a chair at all, rather rolling all over the floor because yolo. Sierra sat in the very back, grinning as she typed her massive edits on the wiki. Cameron, Lindsay, and Tyler were all content with their seats in the back. Chris entered and stood at the podium in front of them.

"Welcome to the first elimination ceremony Screaming Pill-"

"Excuse for a moment." an annoyed Heather interrupted. Tired of the background music, Heather walked over to the musician, grabbed his instrument, and chucked it into a tree.

"Why would you do that!?" the saxophone player cried, "Boo hoo! Boo hoo!"

"There we go." the queen bee said with satisfaction as she sat down, "That dumb music was really starting to crease me."

"That was my great Uncle Bob you witch!" Sadie yelled in anger, "His music is not dumb! It's amazing!"

"I really don't care. But I'm surprised he's not as fat as you!" Heather responded. This comment put Sadie into a rage and she tried to attack Heather, but was held back by DJ.

"Let me go! I want to rip her face off!", the valley girl yelled as she tried to get out of the brick-houses grasp.

"Chill out Sadie, don't let Heather get to you!" DJ said in a futile attempt to calm her down.

"I want to rip her face off!"

"C'mon Sadie. What would Jesus do?"

"Rip her face off!"

**DJ:** I don't think Sadie's ever heard of Jesus.

"Are you finished?" Chris asked, "We have to eliminate somebody! So shut up or I'll send you all packing!"

Sadie glared at the host. But she reluctantly stopped, not wanting to get eliminated.

**CAMERON:** Phew! All that yelling was making me nauseous.

**SADIE:** Heather is going home tonight! I'll make sure of it!

**HEATHER:** These idiots are so fun to mess with.

"Now, let's get this done. It's a half-hour show." the host with most said as he held up a plate of cookies, "This season you know you'll be safe when a cookie flys your direction."

The entire team cheered, as everyone loved cookies.

"But in order to get a cookie, you must not be eliminated by your fellow teammates. And I'm sure your all itching to find out how to do so. So you can vote off Heather."

"Whatever." the Asian scoffed as she filed her nails.

"To my right you can obviously see the old confessional booth from Wawanakwa. And I'm sure your all wondering why its there."

"Not really." Noah lazily replied.

"Anyhow, you will go inside the confessional booth and find pictures of every citizen here. You will pick the photo of who you want to leave and put an X over their face with red markers that will be available. That's it. After you've all finished voting I shall count em' up and tell you who is leaving in the Trolley of Tragedy behind me. Happy eliminating!"

**HEATHER:** /holds up Ezekiel's picture and crosses it out./ Bye Bye, freak!

**ALEJANDRO:** You'd have to be crazy to not vote him out!

**NOAH:** /crosses out Heather's picture/ You've been a pain in everyone's butts since day one. You really need to get the heck out of here before I shoot myself from annoyance. Luckily, the entire team hates you. We have the votes to do it.

**SADIE:** /Angrily crosses out Heather's picture/

**LINDSAY:** /About to cross out Heather's picture, but she had the marker facing the wrong way and crossed out her own face without realizing her error./

**MR. COCONUT: **/stares at the camera. He wants your soul./

**IZZY:** /The entire camera appears covered with red marker. You cannot see a thing, but you can hear Izzy cackling in the background./

As Chris tallied the votes, the contestants chit chatted amongst themselves.

"Oh don't worry Ezekiel dear." Dawn said as she comforted the home-shcooled teen, who was worried about being voted out first again, "I sense great things in your future."

"I doubt it el muchacho." Alejandro sneered.

"All doubt will be taken away." Chris announced, "As I have tallied the votes and will be passing out the immunity cookies!"

"Everyone had shut up and looked to Chris intently.

"Cookies goes to...

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And Alejandro." Chris said as he tossed the happy Spaniard a cookie. Everyone stared happily at their cookies. Except for Heather and Ezekiel, the only ones without a cookie. Heather evilly smirked at the teen, and did her 'finger cross the throat motion'. Ezekiel whimpered and gave big puppy dog eyes.

"The final cookie goes to...

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Ezekiel."

It was the time seemed to stop for the final two. They were both in total shock. But extreme emotions quickly surfaced. Zeke was overjoyed. He wasn't even able to speak since he was just bubbling over with excitement. He began to jump up and down and cheer and rejoice at his victory. The homeschooled teen had never known what it was like to be not eliminated at a ceremony. And the feeling was simply glorious.

Unfortunately, his joy was interrupted by someone's rage.

"HOW COULD YOU DARE VOTE HIM OUT OVER ME!" Heather shrieked, "I'm an all-star strategist. And... and you choose me to leave over that... that monster!", Heather said as she pointed to Ezekiel. He didn't care or notice though. He was still happily on cloud nine.

"I agree." Alejandro chimed in, "Are you all crazy?"

"Yes." both Izzy and Sierra responded.

"Were not crazy, Alepanyo." Lindsay innocently said, "It makes sense to vote out Heather since she's a backstabbing, lying, little *****************************."

**CAMERON:** I'm learning all sorts of new words today!

Heather just stared with fiery rage at her former teammates. She wanted to hurt them. She wanted to rant and rave and curse. But she wanted to keep one of the few things she had left. Her dignity.

"I would go ballistic." Heather calmly admitted, But I'm a dignified lady."

"You keep telling that to yourself miss." Noah deadpanned.

"Shut up Noah." she responded. "I know I may be more experienced in this game than all of you idiots combined-"

"Actually..." Sierra explained, "When you do the math..."

"Nobody cares Sierra." Heather shot back, "But I will leave with my head held high... so, yeah. Good Riddance!"

And with that the queen bee swiftly turned and stomped her way towards the trolley of tragedy.

"Heather, wait!" a familiar voice said as he ran to his eliminated love.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't prevent these... imbeciles from voting you off. I will avenge you." Alejandro swore. Heather evilly grinned and the sucker kissed the boy, and they quickly began to make out.

"Um, its a half-hour show." Chris interjected, "Stop with the mush and get on the trolley."

The evil couple broke their kiss and glared at the egotistical man.

"Win for me, er, I mean us." Heather whispered in Alejandro's ear as she boarded the trolley of tragedy. The doors shut, and the vehicle sped away, taking Total Drama's most infamous villain with it.

"Your all safe." Chris announced, "For now. That concludes the ceremony. Head back to your home and be ready in two days for another challenge!"

**SIERRA: **O-M-G. Heather's actually gone! Who would have ever thought she would go home this early!

**ALEJANDRO:** One. By. One. They. All. Will. Fall... for reals this time.

As the Screaming Pillows approached their new home, they got to hear the loud partying going inside their opposing teams home.

"Great." Sadie sighed, "We are going to have to listen to them party all night long.

"Yes. That will be a problem." Alejandro muttered, "Just like your existence."

"What was that?" Sadie asked. Alejandro said nothing as he walked into the house and slammed the door behind him.

"Well that's just rude." DJ commented, "If my Mama were her, he'd get a smack."

"Bro's just sore over Heather being sent home." Tyler explained as he unlocked the door, "He'll be fine in the morning."

Everyone then escaped the night and went into the warm and inviting house. Everyone except Ezekiel. he teen decided he'd want to sit outside and enjoy the cool breeze and shining stars. As he sat down on the homes' front porch he happily sighed.

**EZEKIEL:** Ever since that night I was voted off back on Total Drama Island, I've always wanted to prove to myself that I didn't suck, eh. When I walked down that dock of shame i truly felt the shame I'm sure Chris hoped that I would feel. Then came World Tour, and I think you guys know how I felt bout that season. I couldn't be voted out first again. I just HAD to go and try to get back in the competition. I tried, but I turned into a... a monster. When my treatment had been fully completed, I was horrified, eh. Horrified at what happened, what I caused myself to go through. And now, that I've made it past my first elimination ceremony ever, I feel, sorta, you know. Complete. I feel as if that after all I've gone through, I finally proved to myself I'm not the loser I led myself to believe.

"Is he coming inside?" Noah asked as he looked out the window in his PJ's. For some odd reason, that he didn't quite understand himself, he came to come check on Ezekiel.

"I have no idea." Dawn responded, "But I'm surprised you care. Your aura is certainly pleasant."

"I don't care..." Noah nervously lied. He began to sweat and rub the back of his head, 'I just want to see if he'll come inside because, well, he'll..."

"Noah, there is nothing wrong with caring for a friend." the moonchild informed, "You've done it before, i seen it your aura before."

"Um, you just met me yesterday."

"I've seen the show, and I know how you look at Izzy."

Noah's eyes went wide at this information, "I don't have a-"

"Please, your worse than Staci." Dawn giggled, "I'm just saying, don't shove your emotions into the back of your mind. If you want to be, you know "bros" with Zeke, its quite alright."

With that Dawn left, leaving Noah to mull over the words that had been said.

* * *

"You should really cut your nails" Billy muttered as he painted Chris's toes.

"Shut up, I don't pay you to whine!" Chris scolded. Then he looked at the camera, Oh, hi audience! Will Noah and Zeke become bros? Will Alejandro cause everyone to fall? Will Eva ever control her anger? Will Geoff get Bridgette to enjoy her stay here? And will I get anymore hunky? Find out next time on Total... Drama... SUBURBS!"

* * *

Everyone in the team homes were asleep, snoring and dreaming, all except Lightning. The jock had yet another restless night. He'd been having them ever since he returned home from season four. That night when he had to face his Dad was hard to say the least.

"I'm sorry Pops." Lightning whispered as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Then, suddenly, the words his father told him began to replay over and over again. All the anger and bitterness that his dear old Dad had spewed at him began to make Lightning sob in his pillow.

"No." Lightning hissed threw gritted teeth, "I can't sha-cry, sha-crying is for babies."

He lied in his bed before he went ahead and decided to wash his face in the lavatories. On his way to the men's room he noticed his dart board that sported Cameron's face. The jock stared at the picture for awhile. Thoughts replayed in his mind. How Cameron beat him at the final episode. How Cameron win over Lightning cost him his Pops relationship and love. All of the shame, sadness, and suffering had happened all because he was beaten by a bubble boy who up until that point had never even been outside. The jock new that deep down, he was wrong to be mad at him. he knew that Cameron had done nothing wrong. But he wasn't thinking with his logic. He was thinking with his rage. It began to boil and build up inside of him. He began to grind his teeth and put upon Cameron all the blame for what had gone on in the past months.

Grinding his teeth, Lightning ripped the picture of his dart board and began to tear it up into little pieces. he then picked up the remains of the picture and took it to the bathroom, where he flushed it down the toilet.

"You think you can ruin my life, eh bubble boy?"

Lightning closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them with a frightening death glare.

"I will have my sha-vengance", Lightning whispered, "Cam will pay."

* * *

**ELIMINATED: **Heather

**A/N: hope you liked it! Dorry if there's some grammar issues, I kinda sped through the proofreading.**

**Hope you enjoyed! I own nothing!**


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